The Bar
by Times2PJO
Summary: This takes place after the Last Olympian. What do the Olympian's do to forget? COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**OKAY SO! This...is VERY M-Rated with words and stuff...and a lot of shipping so yeah. We made up this concept...I hope u enjoy :D**

**-Livi**

Chapter 1 of 2 : The Bar

The immortals were having a fantastic time. "TO THE DEMI-GODS." Apollo cheered, the dark brown liquid sloshed around. He gave a heavy drink, gulping half of it in one take. His sister, Artemis, grinned like a manic and poured the whole beer bottle in her mouth, although that didn't really work as well as her drunken mind thought.

Ares looked at the two siblings in amazement, "I think it was a good idea to not give them the French wines I have in store down in the basement," He muttered to Aphrodite who had her own vodka-spiked drink. She shrugged, "I wouldn't drink _that _much." She said, her speech was slurred and she gave him a smirk, "It would give me a _nasty _headache," Ares was dubbed both the bar tender and designated driver. Both he didn't want, he rather be drinking with the guys.

Athena stuck out her tongue, "Well, the toxins right now that are bubbling up to my brain doesn't care about that shi-stuff." She caught herself just in time, she never liked swearing but the alcohol that currently flooded her system seemed to cut off and kill brain cells like everyone else. The door busted open and in came Hermes.

"I GOT FRENCH EXPENCIVE WINE!" He hollered, everyone whooped and cheered, Ares sighed and sat down then banged his head on the table hopping to get the same effect as drinking. After about an hour of downing more, as Hermes said, French Expensive Wine things started getting riled up.

"Hey! Arte-what's your name," Aphrodite slurred then she said in Ancient Greek, "_I-I think you and Hermes would actually make a good couple…like you both have the dad and you both are, like, freakin' awesome."_

Artemis looked at her, "Yeah…Yeah!" The look of drunken realization shined upon her. "I…I do think we should get-" Her head rolled and she almost passed out momentarily, but her strong will came through, "_Get to gather with…with Hermes." _She said in Ancient Greek. The boys started to sing horrible karaoke of Train's _Drive By. _

The door once again got thrown to the ground. "WHAT IN THE HATES IS GOING ON IN THIS BAR?" Zeus shouted, the others looked at him for a fraction of a second, and then went back to being drunk. Artemis growled and pulled at Hermes shirt that he was wearing, "Hey how about a kiss?" She asked with a very interesting smirk. Hermes grinned, "I don't see why not?"

He was going to when Zeus grabbed his daughter by the scruff and put her down on the other side of the bar. "NO! YOUR DRUNK DON'T YOU GET THAT?" He yelled again. Artemis giggled unlike herself, "Yo-You silly goose, I'm not freaking drunk."

Athena wobbled over, "Yeah, hell if I'm fucking drunk then I would be fucking swearing." They laughed together and hi-fived. Zeus palmed his face. He had a bar full of immortal idiots that are drunk. What would he do? He sighed.

Athena was talking to Demeter, "Hey, you…you know the war that…that happened?" Demeter nodded slowly, trying to let the, such hard, information to sink into her diluted brain. "Yeah..The one with the kids and stuff?" Athena nodded then said in their ancient language, "_Well, it was interesting, I don't fucking care about that war and the kids could shit for themselves, I've got my own problems. Like, what's the better type of bird? A Snowy Owl or a Barn Owl_,"

"Yeah, like, I totally understand. Because I care about the wheat, the_ finer _grains are always good but the _wheat _grains are always heathy-er." Demeter said understanding.

The immortal gods never knew that there was a little red button with a lens in one of the many corners of the bar, it focused on everything leaving no one out.

Zeus was still holding Artemis by the collar as she pressed him for Hermes. "But...dad..dy I think Hermes is a cutie pie... he brought the fancy wine stuff tooooooo." Hermes was trying to pull Artemis away from Zeus. Apollo started singing Only The Good Die Young getting some memory back from his dead children. He wanted to forget so badly but he knew tomorrow was going to be Hades itself with dad at the ear yelling at all them for tonight.

Zeus knew fully that everyone here knew enough to comprehend they really weren't drunk. They wanted to be so they were. Ares seeing Zeus here downed four beers catching up with his peers around him hitting on Aphrodite. "Wana give Eros a sister babe?"

"A sister babe?" Aphrodite asked, confused at first, "OHHHH! Yeah, a sister babe, I would love to….i think? Whatever." She went with Zeus he grinned slightly. Hermes managed to pull Artemis away from Zeus. Who was now, outside in the chariot. Apollo had a knife from his stake that he ate before he got drunk. "I-I want to be wi-" He hiccupped and started to cry, "My-My kids…." He held the Stake Knife, He was about to cut himself, which would not have ended good, when Hypnos touched Apollo, he was also a 'DD' as they called him, also he was to make sure that no one was killed/badly hurt in their drunken state of mine. Apollo fell asleep with a very good dream that will never be known.

Artemis wrapped her arms around Hermes, "Come on baby, let me see you shine." Hermes, who was as drunk as her, smiled and kissed her, "Don't worry my moon," he nipped at her neck, "I'll make you all mine."

Then, they started to have a very…very heavy make out session. Poseidon held his trident, he held a drink of kelp (which would be like a scotch) and drank heavily. Hades came through the shadows beside him. "Hello brother," He said, Poseidon scoffed, "Ba humbug, I don't want your fishy money you mermaid."

"Uh…" Hates only nodded and started to walk away, he really didn't know what was happening, but her heard from the Fates that there was a bar party going on. "BROTHER! I'M GLAD YOU CAN MAKE IT!" Boomed Zeus who stumbled back in with Aphrodite in his mist, "I THINK I FORGOT TO CALL YOU AND ASK YOU TO COME!"

Hades, who was really confused, nodded, "Well, my brother I was wondering if I could drink with you." Zeus laughed and Aphrodite giggled, "Silly God, _EVERYONE _can join!" she said. Hates shrugged and went to get a drink.

Mean while….

Jane was a good girl, she always went to bed on time, she always did what her mother asked her, and she always got good grades. But today, when she lay back on her blanket to look at the stars, she could swear she could hear drunken people. She frowned deeply; she got curious and wandered toward the direction. Her eye would have to be washed; she stood frozen behind a tree as she watched the many 'mythical' gods doing things she never imagined. She swore she thought that Athena, the goddess of wisdom _swear. _She also swore she saw Hermes and Artemis making out. She turned back, very ridged, and ran away back to her house. Her life was never the same after that…


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 of 2 **

"Oww…OWWW! My head! Damn it!" Hissed Hermes, Artemis, who was next to him, groaned. "Wha….What happened?" No, luckily they were not naked from the night before but almost so, stripped down to their underwear. Poseidon was heard, many splashes along with it. "Oh…Gods…of Zeus, I wi….will _never…._drink again."

"Yeah….No kidding," Athena said holding her head, "I felt like I was hit by one of Dad's lightning bolts a dozens of times."

The hang-over of all the gods and goddesses seemed…more or less horrible. Ares, who pretty much staid up the whole night, still had a headache from all the immortals even though he didn't drink…well maybe he drank one or two…or five. After the mighty gods and goddesses got many pain killers they went and relaxed a bit. Artemis was the one who found something a bit…odd, as she log on to her computer. Of course, for some reason, someone put a crazy video on YouTube that had about 2 hour worth of the craziness on it. But, the view was up high and in a corner or the bar. The immortals didn't remember most of the craziness, so they all started watching it to find out what happened.

After the first hour Artemis pause it. The gods all stared at the little screen, wondering what the hell was going on in that bar. Hermes stared at the back of Artemis's head, "Well…" He spoke first.

"Don't. Say. A. Word." Artemis hissed without turning, Hermes nodded and backed a little ways off. This was a wise decision his part since Artemis was on the thin line of wondering if she should kill him, or just try to ignore him. Zeus looked at Aphrodite who face palmed herself, and then to his beloved daughter who was chanting over and over that she swore. Like a level 5 swear in her recorded.

"Soo….." He trailed off awkwardly all the girls glared at him, he held up his hands, "Okay! Okay! Backing down,"

Up in Olympus…..

"ZEUS?" Hera shouted. She could never find her husband for some reason. He wanted to marry her, he even swore to stop with the other girls…well, and it seemed he went off again to swoon some ugly mortal.

"By gods, where are the other?" Hera muttered to herself. She had not seen the other gods at all. She sighed; she would look at that wretched bar first. She started down the stairs onto the puffy cloud flooring. She then jumped and floated down to the dirty ground. "Zeus, I swear on Hates if you are with another girl…"

Back at the Bar….

They continued to watch after the odd moment of thinking. Every so often many of them would turn away in disgust or the alcohol would come back and they would go the bath room. When they finished, each and every one of them had a _very _disgusted face.

"Why the hell would we do that?" Aphrodite muttered remembering what she and Zeus did. It, to her, was burned into her brain and she wanted it out. "Why would we have s-…s-…I'm not saying it."

Zeus rubbed the back of his head and was about to answer, which would be better than what was about to happen, "ZEUS! There you are!"

Hera walked in, she floated above about an inch of the floor, but once she was finally in she floated down. "Where in the Hell were you?"

Zeus sighed, he couldn't answer that, well…he _could _but it would be sarcastic and that would make Hera, his wife, very, very angry. "I was here my darling," He finally replied after a few minutes. Many of the immortals backed away a little from him, even Aphrodite, not that she was in _love _with him or anything.

Hera looked at Artemis, who was still at the laptop looking watching a priciest moment when Zeus asked Aphrodite to go and have sex, irony was the thought of everyone.

"ZEUS!" Hera's eye twitched. "You…You…You…." She couldn't think of anything worse to say. Zeus on the other hand felt like he was going to die at the hand of his wife. "You boob!" She finally said, which would have been funny considering the crisis on hand. "You little…" She started towards him, "You went and almost knocked up that bitch over there,"

No one said anything. They all _knew _not to mess with Hera when she was in one of her rages, she could do a _lot _worse to them, but they all knew that she would go _very _hard on Zeus. Taking him by the ear she kept yelling at him about "Why you bastard," and many other horrible things. She dragged him out of the bar and out of sight.

The gods just stood around looking at each other, the goddesses, on the other hand, were very angry with what happened.

Cut it short. No one saw the male gods for another month….

**THE END**

**Wow, this it the first story that we actually finished with at least 2 chapters...YES! anyways, i hoped everyone enjoyed this as much as i (we) did**

**-Livi **


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